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May. 1st, 2009 @ 10:20 am Wow
I cant believe i graduate on the 16. Im hella nervous.
& ill be in california on the 28th =D

Dude. a shit load has happened. Okay so Wayne & i broke up.
Last night. Because he told me it was over if i continued to talk to ali.
I kno she still wants to be with him. Its obvious
But you kno, i dont really care.
She can have him
Because....wow her boyfriend Justin is absolutely amazing.

I mean seriously. Its wierd cuz Ali is my ex boyfriends ex girlfriend who happens to be my best friend but her boyfriend is gonna leave her for me & she can be free to have wayne.
Wow. Now thats crazy shit

& Justin <3
Wow. thats pretty much all i can say about him.
He is so sweet. & funny. He cracks my shit up.
He is everything i pretty much want in a guy.

& he really really likes me too.
He has goals. He is goin to the same college I am, and well, we both hate drugs.
I think its a perfect match.

He is leaving ali this weekend i think...
After prom & what not. I kinda feel bad, but i shouldnt cuz ali wants wayne anyways.
We can switch boyfriends lol
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uhm...Me?
Apr. 15th, 2009 @ 10:19 am The Here & the Now.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Here in Your Arms- Hello Goodbye.

Music Currently Listening to:  The Kill [Bury Me] - 30 Seconds to Mars.

Well, Today is just kinda boring.
Prom is Saturday. Today is a Wednesday. I dont work til Friday.
I want to buy my plane ticket tonight.
but, i havnet really decided weather or not i want to go to Washington in June with My cousin & my Grandma.


Music Change- Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

, Like i was saying, Im just kinda trying to think of what i want to do.

If i dont go to washington, then ill fly out to L.A. on the 29th of May, Have my sister-n-law & brother & mom pick me up from there, then the 30th my mom will take me to get my piercings.
And my birthday is the 31st so ill get my tat.

But if i go to Washington, Ill have to travel and i wont get to Hanford til the second week of July.

I really dont want to wait that long....
And My cousin really wants me to go with her because she dont want to stay with Nana all alone. She will be bored as fuck. So that will kinda make me feel bad if i dont go.
But, its kinda my life...Shouldnt i start living it?
Ugh! I just dont know!!

Of course everyone in California is telling me to go early so they can spend more time with me. They want to spend my birthday with me. Blah.


I want to go early. I really do. The sooner, the better.
Because i need to find a job right away. :\

and i really want to see my nephews!! ):
....
And....
I miss wayne so much.
Everytime i start to think that im just so close to seeing him, my heart starts to pound out of my chest. Im so excited about seeing him.
I feel like i have just a few weeks.
Just a few more weeks to go.
I just need to get through this few weeks and i get to be with him again.
Its been almost 5 months since ive seen him. ):
He is deff worth the wait (:

But the wait is almost over!!!!

Lol i bet the plane ride ill be having like a panic attack the whole time. Lol.
OMG. I get excited just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thats it.
Im going early.
Fuck Washington.
My cousin needs some quality time with my nana anyways.

Wow.
I  cant believe i just made up my mind. ((::
Woot woot woot woot!!

That means i leave missouri in like a month!!
WTF
okay. well. i better go.
See yah!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got to go and plan my travels! (:

About this Entry
Apr. 6th, 2009 @ 12:36 pm I love you.
Current Mood: lovedloved
I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be with you through it all.

You have my heart and soul
Please dont throw it away.

I miss you. I cry from missing you so much.
I know your different. I know your the one.

Riley. Anton. Noone means a thing to me.

all that matters is i have you. Your all i want. All i need.  I love you. For you.

I dont care that you screw up.
That we fight
That you accuse sometimes
I know your scared to lose me
& im scared to lose you.

It wont happen.

Because i love you. & our love is strong to overcome everything.

I promise.
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Lover
Mar. 24th, 2009 @ 06:48 pm Senior Year :]
Current Mood: excitedexcited
WOW. things are going by so freaking fast!!

My next few months are gonna go by faster then i think.

April, Im probably going to be working so many hours just to pay off my 325$ prom dress (hah!)
April 18th- Prom.

May- Graduation Month! Im beyond excited. All of may im going to be busy.
May 16- GRADUATION
May-17 Chelsea's 18th Birthday / Worlds of Fun


JUNE

June 4- Emily (cousin in photo)  is flying out here from California.
The next few weeks of June- Road trip to Washington DC
June 24- Fly out with Emily to San Fransisco. Say Goodbye to Missouri for a few years! (:

While in San Fran- Get Lip pierced!

JULY


July 4- Camping trip with Emily, Aunti Kim, & 40 other people, Friends, Family Members.

After a week of Camping, Im headed Home to Hanford California where my family is waiting for my sweet Return

AUGUST

school starts!!  Starting at West Hills Community College in Lemoore!!! 



MY NEXT FEW MONTHS ARE GONNA BE HECKA BUSY!

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uhm...Me?
Mar. 24th, 2009 @ 09:27 am Wayne. Love. Confusion.
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Yeah. okay. Im 18. Still Young & livin life. My family is important to me. School is important to me.
Im mature in a lot of ways......& immature in others.


Wayne- He is 17. Young. Immature. Smokes ciggs (which dont really bother me) Smokes weed (which does bother me) He drinks with his friends, & when he is depressed, idk what he is capeable of.

Febuary 17th. The Pregnancy Scare- 
Well, i broke up with him. Because i thought i needed more time in school. I needed to concentrate.
The 17th was a friday. This night, He was depressed. Got drunk & high...& texted his ex girlfriend Ali. They started talking about the good old days, what they missed about eachother & blah blah blah.
Turns out, He went to her house, climbed through her window, & had UNPROTECTED sex with HER!
then after-words, texted me telling me how much he loved & cared about me. He didnt tell me what he did with her a month after when she told him she was late for her period.

I dont think i cried so hard in my life. I love this boy with all my fucking heart & he hurt me. So, i had sex with another guy to get even (i kno,  bad mistake. I regret it okay?) Well, turns out, she isnt pregnant. Im still with him. Everythin is good.

I still love him.


BUT NOW,
He is fighting with me constantly. He makes me feel bad because i wont be home as soon as he wants. He wants me to move back to california right after graduation & im not.
Im traveling & spending time with my family while i can. He makes me mad.
It pisses me off when he tells me that he controls what i do. NOONE controls me! Im almost legal BITCH.
im very tempermental when it comes to people telling me what to do.


Me and him are completely opposits,
I love my family he hates his
I love school  he wants to drop out
I dont believe in drugs  -  Thats all he does...

Thats not even half of it.
I hear opposits attract though.....Right?

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Lover
Mar. 24th, 2009 @ 09:15 am GIRLS ARE STUPID
Current Mood: amusedamused

Here i am sitting in Shuke's room. Seminar. BLAH!!
I just came from PE where im surrounded by Freshmen & sophmores who kno nothing of real life. Some stupid girl kept talkin about how if anyone gave her a dirty look, she would beat some ass. Seriously, the girl was smaller then me. & no offense, but GROW UP!
SERIOUSLY, that is so fucking stupid! Why on earth are girls so freaking retarded? Expecially young girls who think they know everything & will beat up anyone who proves them wrong. It annoys the fuck out of me.

I sat there & started laughing. THey probably thought i was retarded or mentally ill because i just thought to myself, how Idiotic & stupid they sounded. If only they knew that life dont revolve around them.
I kinda felt bad for them too because some girl who is 15 is pregnant. How idiotic! She has only been with her boyfriend for two months, they are "engaged" (hahahahahaha!) and, she is now pregnant. Seriously, I felt bad for her. Her life is over. & it hasnt even begun yet.


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uhm...Me?
Mar. 23rd, 2009 @ 10:00 pm Funny poetry
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful

There once lived a man named Lou who fell asleep in a Canoe. He drempt of Venus & played with his penus & woke with a handful of Goo.
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uhm...Me?
Mar. 17th, 2009 @ 11:08 pm Family
Current Mood: blankblank


My family...*sigh*
YOu know, when you get accepted into a college you would think your parents would be extremely happy for you! Well, not mine. I guess if the college i get accepted to, if its not close to home, then, im pretty much exiled out of my family.

...well my dads side anyways. My mom is ecstatic that im going to college, let alone moving back to Hanford to do so. College is college right? At least im getting an education.

My Grandma (whom i reside with) makes me feel so guilty & bad for choosing to move back but i have to. I feel like its where im needed but i dont expect anyone to understand that. Both my grandparents have Cancer. If you really know me (very very few people do) then you know that i pretty much was raised by my grandparents.  My mother had a drug problem. We lived in the true ghetto. Dealing with drive by's and rapes everywhere you looked. I was a true ghetto poor child. & you know, i never cared. Being poor never bothered me. Money isnt life. I was happy if i had my family & i always did.

Welll, the story is that my grandparents are really important to me. My grandma taught me how to cook & everything else. My grandpa taught me well, patience. He is a very religious man but they are absolutely amazing. I dont know where i would be without them. My grandparents just...they are a big part of my life. I feel like i have to be there. Its hard you know? To try and be proud of yourself, while everyone else keeps pushing you down.



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uhm...Me?